In the foreground are Christoph and his mom, and in the background are his brother and dad. His mom just turned 57 and it was her idea for us all to go on an exhausting hour-long ride through the dust and rocks and shit to get to a restaurant and eat some schnitzel that I could have made way better out of a package at my house. I suggested that I would cook the celebratory meal, but she declined. The woman is a better cook than all your momses and gramses put together times ten so the two points of cycling an hour to a restaurant were: 1. You are all fat and need exercise. 2. It's my birthday and I'm not cooking for you ingrateful assmonkeys, and I'm not choking down your pathetic attempts at culinary art either.
Just because I think it's cute. He doesn't always look like a kindergartener on his first day of school, I swear it.
Yet another great thing about Berlin... respectable people actually live here, and I'd bet good hard-earned money that there are no immediate plans to replace the broken panels of glass or remove the graffiti. You live on Weserstraße, you will have to put up with boarded-up windows and spraypaint all over everything. Deal with it.
Some more third-world looking shit in the middle of the Second World. Oh wait, this is West Berlin, so it's technically a colony of the First World. My bad. Dang we need to get on that shit stat.
I haven't seen Woolworth's since I was like, ten. OK, that's a lie, because I see this one all the time, but Woolworth's here isn't like Woolworth's used to be back home, which smelled like popcorn and 35 cent coffee and back-to-school clothes.
Crossing at the crosswalk literally saves lives on this street. They should do PSA or something.
I felt like such a tourist taking pictures of myself on the street, but simply put it had to be done. Just another day in the life.
There are like ten streets in ten different districts here called Karl-Marx something-or-the-other. Karl-Marx Straße, Karl-Marx Allee, Karl-Marx Platz, etc. Once you get in the East, Rosa-Luxembourg and Frederick Engels Streets are quite common too. Effin commies. The ungrateful West Berliners have only dedicated one street to John Foster Dulles, the man to whom they basically owe their entire continued existence. You'd all be speakin' Russkie and living in mud hovels if it weren't for him.
Now you too can live on Best-Insult-Evar Straße.
Pedophilia and homicide are not too hot here, but bike theft and animal cruelty are super fashionable at the moment. This definitely beats out the drowned-cat-and-duck-tied-together-with-a-bit-of-hemp-twine combo I saw on the canal last summer. People were walking around this atrocity as if it were just another bit of organic waste on the street. Hey, it biodegrades.
"Berlins gröstes Bräunungscenter" translates literally to "Berlin's biggest Tanning Salon". Very helpful in Berlin's biggest Turkish neighborhood. The boys and girls of Neukölln go from golden-brown to burnt sienna, frost their tips and smoke menthols. Like a Muslim version of Lynnwood (sorry for the Seattle reference).
I was feeling a bit tired of life myself, but the pack was empty. :(
A suitcase and a plastic bucket lid. Like an urban version of the happy mask-sad mask deal. How fitting a piece of art for this town. This installation has been chillin on this fence for weeks now. I hope it's not taken down any time soon.
3 comments:
i just noticed that the suitcase is even crying raindrops. rad.
I am going to be honest I really had no idea what the Stoph looked like until today. REALLY.
It may seem like an old granny talking but all that hair was distracting, and I like it short. But he ain't my man so it doesn't matter.
Momma Stoph looks feisty in that picture.
the hair was super distracting. I look at old pictures of him, well they're not that old, maybe eight or nine months or so and I wonder how I ever found that attractive. Ew. I also prefer short hair, long hair is def. distracting.
Momma Stoph is sooooooooper feisty, do not get in her way, especially not after a couple glasses of wine. Her feist could level entire civilizations.
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