Sunday, November 2, 2008

Blog Archives for Posterity.

This post will not be read by anyone for at least two thousand years.

While I've been writing blogs for MySpace and making them literally tens of dollars in advertising, for a couple of years now, and have over a hundred readers, no one is even aware that this blog exists. I've no idea how to get the word out, except by alerting all my current readers that I now have a blog in a new spot.

Since this blog won't be read by anyone until I figure out how to get some readers, I can say whatever I want. It's like depositing your diary and soiled underwear into a time capsule; by the time anyone sees it, humanity will have long since perished and new, alien anthropologists will use it to speculate upon the condition of human kind on Weigandufer 4A 12045 Berlin on Sunday, 2 November. It will doubtlessly shed new and glaringly bright light on the struggles we had to overcome this week.

The problem with inviting my readers from MySpace is that half of them are douchebags. I use that word sparingly, not least of all because only douchebags use it. But half the time I write a blog about what I want to write about, the way I want to write about it, I either lose readers or get some complaints about the way I've worded something, people are offended and I lose sleep worrying about what a horrible writer I am and how I've offended the tiny people who live in my computer. What this means is that I spend a lot of time mincing my words so the Christian Association of Mothers Against Excessive Profanity and Poor Metaphors don't knock down my door.

One of my favorite MySpace bloggers, Sex Mahoney, can write whatever he wants about dicks and farts and rape and pedophilia (he is a children's teacher) and cum and midget porn and whatever else and he has five bazillion readers who worship the ground he skulks on. Where are my ultra-cool readers who get my sense of humor, badly aimed as it is?

I think I'll just write privately for a bit. No one will ever know I exist in this itty bitty little corner of cyberspace, and no one can unsubscribe from a blog they don't know exists.