Like School in the Summertime, We Gots no Class

On St. Paddy's day of this year, we went with our Irish friends to an Irish pub at around noon. I guess the Irish set aside the time to celebrate the life of St. Patrick from dawn til midnight, but for those of us who aren't accustomed to showing up to bars in the daylight hours and sucking down Guinness for the next twelve hours, it can get a bit.... samey. Therefore we brought a game of Uno to the bar. This was met with unappreciative glares from everyone who wasn't cool enough to have been invited to play. Attempting to mollify our new un-fans, we offered to deal them in, but they weren't having any of it. Evidently it's incredibly lame to play Uno in a bar, even if the bar is as shitty and expensive and smelling of piss and touristy and did I mention shitty as the Oscar Wilde in Berlin. One friend even went so far as to ask us if we'd planned on being bored since even before we got there. Slightly embarrassed, we put the cards away and assured our friends we weren't bored, we just like playing cards.

Troof. So whenever we can sneak out of the house without attracting the notice of any of our hipper friends, we drag along a card game or dominoes, order up a round of drinks, and have ourselves a good old time. Last night was one of those nights.

Baiz thinks it's a communist bar or something, but in troof, they just don't know how to turn away people who like to leave subversive flyers laying around. And they apparently hate IKEA as much as I do. Some might suggest you get new tables, but I'm totally into the splinters in your fingernail beds thing.

We are so hip we take pictures of the Uno. To be fair though, the lady on the left is Cookie's friend Eleanor, all the way from Australia via Canada so it's a bit of an adventure to be sat in a smoky dungeon playing Uno, especially when you've just come from a place where smoking isn't allowed and you're only allowed to sit for an hour while consuming super expensive food and drink.

Graham's beard always goes all blurry in indoor pics. Check out the Mercedes hood ornament chandalier in the background.

Plotting their next +4 wild cards. No one is more competitive at the Uno than we.

Fat ass mineral water. €,50 for half a liter of it. With a nice chunky slice of lemon. You're paying upwards of €3,50 in most places in that neighborhood for a simple glass of bubbles. Maybe they really are commies.
You ain't got no blues.

After slumming around at Baiz for a bit we decided to go to "Punk Rock Pizza" (not their real name, I believe they call themselves "Duo Forni" or some such). Never again.

First of all, the place looks like this
except bigger, this pic does no justice to just how cavernous the place is.
The douchebag with the ponytail was our "waiter". Couldn't stop blathering at us in Italian. Hello friend I am not here to learn fucking Italian, don't need a ten-minute explanation about the virtues of smoked horse meat. Bring us some beer and a salad and for christ's sake enough with the yelling. When he saw we weren't into his schtick he started just slamming shit around and hamming it up conspicuously with the other customers who apparently find a waiter who doesn't bathe and screams and dances around "charming and authentic". The place was full of assclowns making a spectacle of dinner. When in fact we just wanted the dinner and not the spectacle.
Pizza was amazing though. Cookie's got the prosciutto, arugula, mushrooms and shaved parmesan. I'd post the rest of them except they were all in a state of half-eatenness by the time I pulled out the camera and no one wants to look at pics of half-eaten food.


They brought me a "salad", which was in fact a bowl of lettuce on a plate with an enormous chunk of fennel, strips of cucumber and 5-inch-long carrot sticks, one uncut radish and an entire tomato. There was oil and vinegar on the table, dressing sorted.

Will never return there though as the servers were even unclassier than we are and that is a hard thing to do.