I don't really fit into either category, but as I come from the United States, I'm too bourgeouise--in a worldwide political sense, mind--to be called an immigrant, and Germans want nothing to do with me. So I hang out with other "expats" on a regular basis.
The other night, I even went to an event arranged by and catering to such people. It was my second time attending, and I'd forgotten why it had taken such a long time between the first and second visits. The second I walked through the door, I remembered. It was because the first time I went, I had sworn to myself that it would also be the last.
You know how you go to a party where you don't know anybody, but you're friends with someone who knows someone? So now you're someone who knows someone who knows someone, and as you all live in the same town, the likelihood that you will meet someone who knows someone who knows someone you know can be pretty high. You're all around the same age group and as you've all been invited by someone who knows someone, or by Someone Him-or-Herself, you're likely to have Something in Common.
Something in Common can cover a broad range of topics, from activities to opinions to preferences. You see, I can walk into any party anywhere in the world and enjoy myself, as long as the one thing that the majority--come on, even half--of the attendees have in common is Not Being a Total Douchebag.
No such luck at the expat event. The last time I had such awkward, boring time must have been some time at my in-laws place. You will think I'm exaggerating when I say I was painfully bored, but I'm not lying. It literally hurt my feelings to be that bored. I stayed for an hour--an hour!!--waiting to see if any of the hundred or so attendees of this thing would be worth staying longer for. I scanned the room hopefully, looking for signs of an interesting conversation to butt in on.
But alas, all I saw were other boring people, not seeming to mind being bored by one another. No eruptions of laughter. No intense, involved conversations. Just a bunch of people from all age ranges, from every corner of the earth, boring the socks off of one another, the only Thing in Common that they had being that they all spoke some degree of English.
As soon as I was able to extract myself from what was, admittedly, an engaging conversation from a complete lunatic (sorry Niall) I saved myself by going dancing at the skanky club down the street, which had promised to be fun that night.
To be continued...
3 comments:
That sound like the Meetups here in AZ. I joined a slew of Meetup before I even arrived so I would have my foot in the door in trying to meet and engage people. Some of the groups and events were such a struggle I just didn't know what to do.
What I was finding with the groups here is that they were full of 1 of the following groups of people: The socially awkward I only have online friends group; The I moved here with my boyfriend lived here for a year made no effort to make friend and now I am lonely group; The bougie or Country Black broads group (yeah the sistas have been called broods because that is how they were acting) I lucked up in meeting some people with common sense but it was not without GREAT effort on my part.
Although I need to meet men. And not in the romantic sense but just guys in general I don't have enough of those around.
You know, I have never been one of those people who thinks the majority of people are stupid, or not worth knowing. I have always thought that most people had something interesting about them that would appeal to someone, somewhere. But it's not true. There are a whole wack of people out there who are just not interesting to anybody, not even other boring people.
If the expat event had at least had some black broads I could have been entertained, but there was literally nothing. It was like everyone there was just a limp, shapeless piece of plasma. Maybe I fit into the category of came here for my boyfriend but I suppose the difference would be, I am still trying to attend these events although I have lived here for years and have actual friends.
Maybe we are just not desperate enough to hang out at these things... I usually meet people at classes or work. Have made some awesome friends at my awesome new job so that is positive.
As for men, girl... guurrrrrl I just don't know. What I do find interesting is that you need men in your life in a non-romantic sense? Well but that is the best way to find a man who likes you for you, to be sure. Do you connect well with dudes? I find, I don't even see men. I kind of did when I was single but never in a friend sense. Something deep and innate tells me that only a woman will ever come close to providing the friendship and companionship I need outside a romantic relationship. What about you?
I need to clarify I have 2 good male friends at home. The never dated like family type of friends at home. And that is what I miss. I know I can't recapture that here but I miss them for sure.
I love women and I think that having female friends is EXTREMELY important and essential. And for those women who say" I don't like women and only have male friends. I could never understand it. Yes I agree that those closest bonds formed are usually friendships with another woman.
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