I wonder, what makes the difference between being a cool and kooky middle-aged person and an eccentric pain in the ass? It is certainly easy to see the difference between the end results: the former is usually a mish-mash of contradictions; laughing easily yet being a bit jaded, being a bit jaded yet not being bitter, giving everyone a hard time, yet giving them the benefit of the doubt, and in general, having an "it is what it is" view of the world. The latter seem to be putting on a show, wishing they could smile easily but being unable, and therefore overcompensating by putting on their best fake smiles, covering up their social awkwardness by pretending to have outlandish preferences, and being in general still absolutely shocked by the world when it does not produce the results they would have liked.
Obviously, there are more than two kinds of middle-aged people, but as a, ahem, Service Professional, those are the two that I notice the most. The ass-kickers and the fake-funkers.
How cool is it to still be kicking ass in your fifties? And how super lame is it to still be fake-funking at the same age? Suuuuuuper lame.
Your middle age must be a funny time of life, even funnier than your late 20s, which, by funny, I mean, not fucking funny at all, oh my god, did you realize my life is OVER? Anyhow. I imagine that being in your fifties is like being in a state of transition, like being in your late 20s is, with the 40s that preceded it being sort of like the stasis that your late teens and most of your 20s are. In these stasis periods, you're not meant to make any drastic growth or undergo any massive changes or make any momentous decisions. You just go on about your life, reaping the benefits and suffering the consequences of whatever you did in the previous ten years, living with yourself as you have molded yourself.
But in your middle age, you've got a couple of things on your personal growth plate: digesting what you've just seen in the last 50 years. What have you learned? How does it make you feel? And now that you've gone through about two-thirds of all you're going to get, how will you use the rest of it? It's sort of like what I'm going through now, except in the last question we replace two-thirds with one-third. Maybe that's why cool and kooky middle-aged people LOVE me as much as I love them (a lot!) and why the bitter old sacks who still find the time to have a good bitch and moan sixty-five times a day about things they cannot change and do not have the wisdom to know the difference about are usually as annoyed by me as I am by them (a lot).
Ah, but soon, I will be thirty, and will find out what that total mystery is about. No one knows anything about thirtysomethings. They are all in a very exclusive club, not unlike Freemasons or Knights of the Scottish Rite or whatever. Their logo and mission statement shifts drastically every four or five years so as to maintain the utmost secrecy as those who leave the club for their forties re-enter the world outside the Twighlight Zone spiral stasis limbo that is one's 30s.
Welllp, I've got some self-loathing self-appraisal to do before I enter the Menudo of ages... see you on the other side of the tunnel.
2 comments:
I'm 40...50 is approaching slowly. I think it's different for everyone. Some people, like me, are happier at this age than when we were younger. Your teens and 20s are so much about figuring out who you are and defining yourself by what others think of you, that it's almost a relief to let go of all that and start living your life just for yourself. But I often wonder how it feels as you get much older...and you know that your life is coming to a close. What kind of acceptance do we reach that we aren't sad about that?
Ah, Stephanie, always a pleasure to have a well-composed comment from yourself. As you know, I have sporadically observed your development from a mid-thirties divorcee/single dater embracing life, to a happily remarried woman in the prime of life, and you've always been so positive, thoughtful and proactive through all of it! People like you are what give me real hope for the years ahead, that it is getting better, and not worse! I too am starting to get the idea that one's 20s are not all they're cracked up to be and that with age comes more of that self-assurance that helps us become well-rounded mature adults.
Thanks so much for stopping by :)
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